Written by: Blessed Beyond Measure
My husband and I were so in love with our first born as most in parental ways of thinking our son was a hairline short of perfection. What more could a parent want? At the time, my answer was two!! I want two of what was the greatest gift ever!
The hubby and I talked about it. He had his hesitations but I explained my side that the two would be two years apart and go to school together and be very close. So it happened!!
I was pregnant!
This time I waited to confirm my pregnancy because after all I had been through this before and what was the rush to go to get confirmation from the doctor? I was very excited imagining all of the possibilities. Between 5-6 weeks I decided to start my OB visits. I knew at this point by ultrasound we should be able to confirm the heartbeat and begin monthly visits.
My husband and I went to the appointment together. My OB performed the ultrasound and he kept searching and searching…. He was sliding his probe all over the lower part of my stomach. There was silence…..
I knew what it meant. I asked my doctor, “Is there a heartbeat?” He replied, “umm at the moment I see a yolk sac but no heartbeat”. My heart sank. My husband had sort of a blank look on his face. I say to my husband, “he doesn’t see a heartbeat. That means no baby”. Then my doctor said “wait- wait, it’s not clear yet”. Let’s wait two weeks and bring you back for a repeat ultrasound. “Maybe your dates are a little off”. (I knew my dates were not off but I was hopeful that on some off chance that I was wrong.)
Two long weeks went by with each day wondering am I pregnant and praying that I am. Knowing that moving a certain way or eating a certain food would not affect anything, but I was still extra careful anyway.
About two or three days before my return visit I started to have a heavy period.
I was having a miscarriage. I felt so alone. I felt like why my baby? Why me?
But, my spirit did not allow me to stay in that place. I kept having the words “Be it unto me” resonate. That period lasted about 2 weeks. I was worried if my blood level would drop too low, but thankfully it did not. I waited, per my doctors instructions to have two normal cycles and try again. A few months went by- no period. I went to my doctor and took a month of birth control pills to try to jump start my system back into ovulating. In nine months from the time I miscarried I was pregnant again.
I am so thankful to God that he blessed us with the most beautiful little girl that anyone could imagine.
I shared only to very few people that prior to her I lost a blessing. But God knew the end of the story. I will always wonder what our little angel would have been like. I am thankful that we were able to conceive again. We now have two beautiful children.
Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning Psalms 30:5Leave a reply